Article: Weekends - Do You Love Them? Or Dread Them?
When the weekend comes - are you
loving it...or dreading it?
If you're a teacher without kids at home, you might love weekends...
But if you're a parent with little ones
at home, I know that sometimes,
even though you want your weekends
to be a relaxing, fun time with the
family, oftentimes they're not.
Sometimes there are:
- kids throwing tantrums
- kids who don't follow directions
- kids who whine and complain
- kids who hit and yell at their
siblings
With stuff like this going on in
the house, you may find it hard to
get any sense of relaxation or fun
during the weekend.
Instead, you may feel like you have
to be a referee breaking apart
fights, a policeman enforcing the
rules, or a prison guard trying to
punish those that misbehave.
There is another way...
Here's something you can do to bring a bit more peace to your weekends. (Note: Teachers, you can follow the same technique in your classroom.)
1) Go to the Charts page and pick out a chart that YOU like. That's right....this time I'm suggesting that YOU use the chart.
http://www.freebehaviorcharts.com/charts
2) Write at the top of it: "Catch _________ being good." Put your child's name in the blank.
3) When you catch your child being good (and it will happen if you watch for it) say Thank you to your child with a smile, and then mark your chart.
4) Your goal is to fill your chart
in one day! And I know you can do
it! :-)
Examples of catching your child being good:
- Your son threw his napkin at the
garbage and it fell on the floor
instead. He got up and put it in
the garbage.
(Thank you for putting your napkin in the garbage, Steven.)
- Your daughter was playing with a
toy in the living room and then
brought it back to her room when
she was done. (Thank you for taking
your toy back to your room,
Jennifer.)
- You told your son to find his
clothes for soccer so you could
wash them and he brought them to
you - even though there was a little
attitude. (Thank you for bringing
me your soccer clothes, David.)
- You told your daughter that she
could go play with her friends if
she helped you fold some laundry
first. At first she complained, but
then she came and helped even
though there was a little sulking.
(Thank you for helping me fold the laundry, Elena.)
See, this is all about focusing on
the GOOD part of their actions. The
part that you like.
But they're still doing so many things I don't like!
Yes, and that's exactly why you need to switch your focus and watch for times that they actually do things that you DO like. It's easy to become blind to the good things because the bad things seem to overshadow everything else.
But as you start focusing on the
good things, and thanking your
child for doing stuff that you
like, not only can you start
feeling better about the relationship
you have with your child...
But your child will appreciate getting some positive attention from you instead of the constant negative attention you give them when they're doing things you don't like.
So give it a try...
Print out a chart for yourself and follow the guidelines above so that you can keep track of how many times you've caught your child being good.
Charts are here:
http://www.freebehaviorcharts.com/charts
Then if you want to, share your chart with your child at the end of the day and say, "Look how many times I caught you being good today!" And give them a big hug. :-)
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