Article: Behavior Charts + Love = Success
I know it may not seem like it -
especially in moments when they're
driving you crazy with their
behavior.
But it's true...
Kids want your love. They want you
to love, approve, and appreciate
them.
Ultimately, kids don't like it when
you're upset with them. They're
like you. They like it when people
get along. They like it when others
are pleased with them.
So one of the most important things
to keep in mind when you're using
behavior charts is where you're
coming from.
Are you coming from the place of: "I hate this behavior and I want to get rid of it as soon as possible?" Or from the place of: "I want to help my child/student be as successful as they can be?"
The first position comes from hate. The second position comes from love.
And believe me - the kids will be able to tell which place you're coming from when you set them up with the behavior chart. They'll know whether you're trying to get rid of behaviors you hate or you're trying to support them in doing better.
So how do you come from a loving place instead of a hateful place when you're using the behavior charts? Check out the 4 tips below...
Tip #1 Focus on the Good
Instead of focusing so much on all of the behaviors you want to fix and get rid of, spend some time remembering the amazing things your child or student has done.
You might even make a list of a few
of these and share them with the
child. Then you can let her know
that the behavior chart is here to
help her be able to add more items
to this growing list.
Tip #2 Remember a Mentor
Reconnect with your own memories of an adult who supported you when you were a child. Remember how good it felt to feel respected by this adult?
Wouldn't it feel great to know that you were that person in this child's life? The one who believed in him and who helped him feel inspired to do his best?
You can become more like that adult
by giving to this child in the same
way your mentor gave to you when
you were little.
Tip #3 Find things to Like
Not all of the behaviors you want to change in your child or student are terrible behaviors. Can you find something to like about the behavior?
For example: Most parents hate it when their children say, "No!"
But would you still hate that behavior if your child said no to getting in a car with a stranger? How about if your child said no to someone offering them a cigarette? Or some drugs?
Having the confidence and
self-assurance to say no can be a
really valuable skill. Can you
appreciate that your child or
student is exercising a powerful
life skill?
Finding something to like about the
behavior can take some of the sting
out of it. When you can appreciate
that saying no is actually
something you value sometimes, it
may help you come from a more loving
place when your child says no to
doing something you want them to do.
Tip #4 Give Yourself Some Love Too
Coming from a loving place when you're using the behavior charts won't necessarily be easy.The truth is that it can be really frustrating when the kids in your life aren't behaving the way you want them to.
So be gentle with yourself as
you're learning to implement
behavior charts with the kids in
your life. Both you and your
child/student will appreciate some
love and patience.
© Copyright 2007 - FreeBehaviorCharts.com. All rights reserved.
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